Hey everyone,
und das Abenteuer goes on. Yes! 
Es gleicht wohl eher einem Feldzug ... durch die Engstirnigkeit und Bürokratie dieses Landes beziehungsweise dessen Bewohner*innen  ... 
Hätte nie gedacht, an welchen Stellen die Hürden des Transwegs in good ole Germany lauern ... nämlich v.a. dort, wo die Leuts es doch besser wissen sollten ... im "professionellen Bereich": in den Facharztpraxen und bei der Krankenkasse. Der tägliche Kränkungscocktail ... it's the price you got to pay, baby!  Wer bis dato noch nicht depressiv war, wird es jetzt garantiert!
Die Bürokratie und Spiele der Ämter hingegen waren zu erwarten ... ohne geht es halt nicht. Schließlich füttern sie damit ihre eigene Existenzgrundlage.
Ich frage mich jeden Tag, was mann alles Geniales und Konstruktives in dieser Welt erschaffen könnte ... müsste mann nicht solche Massen an Energie für die Irrgärten des "Alltagsbelastungstests" und der Transition aufbringen (das Phänomen der deutschen Bürokratie ist natürlich "ubiquitär" und nicht beschränkt auf das TSG, siehe Corona-Krise). Wie unökonomisch und gesellschaftlich kurzsichtig. Wie realitätsfern und (über)lebensfeindlich!
Zum Glück gibt es auch immer wieder positive Überraschungen auf dem Weg: Menschen, die ohne Scheuklappen und Berührungsängste einfach da sind.
Dafür bin ich sehr dankbar.
Und es gibt jene, die plötzlich verschwunden sind, im Schweigen, im Unverständnis. Viele von ihnen waren jedoch auch zuvor niemals wirklich da. So what!
Ich danke den Göttern für meine Sturheit und meine Kreativität, die mich immer wieder aufstehen und aus jedem Misthaufen was bauen lassen. Und ich fiebere dem Tag entgegen, an dem endlich mein richtiger Name und mein korrekter Geschlechtseintrag in meinem Perso und auf meiner f*cking "Gesundheitskarte" stehen. YES!
Foto © Wotan Beißwenger, 25th of September 2021; all rights reserved.

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BLOG-WISE - the new generation

Transgender: Ann-Uta → AnU → Wotan oder die schrittweise Dezimierung von Lebenslügen ...

Nicht nur die HP befindet sich aktuell im Update und Upgrade. Auch ich selbst. Ann-Uta gibt es schon lange nicht mehr. Ein "dead name" wie man in der LGBT-Szene sagt. AnU war eine hilfreiche Übergangslösung, um mich im Nicht-binären zwischen zu parken und alles zum drillionsten Mal für mich zu reflektieren. AnU war die kleinere Lüge, aber halt immer noch Lüge. Zeit zum Aufräumen, den Wanderer von der Leine zu lassen. Zeit für Wotan ... 

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Mein Blog befindet sich derzeit, wie die ganze Homepage, in einem größeren Upgrade. - Und das bei "laufender Kamera"... Bitte habt Verständnis, falls jetzt das eine oder andere noch nicht ganz rund läuft! Ich arbeite mit Hochdruck an der Aktualität und Verfügbarkeit meines web-Auftritts.

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Archiv (Blog bis 1. Juli 2021)


Let's sacrifice the King to save the World(s) … 

Blog-Wise >>

I guess our forefathers wouldn't have hesitated for long in a comparable situation: If powers and things turned too wild to cope with and whole communities and their survival were endangered in an unsurmountable way, ritual sacrifices of most valuable things and kings were arranged and celebrated. To appease forces, operating on a level not otherwise approachable by humans. To reinstall balance and grant survival of human communities.


In our world of today, this sounded like a strange, horror-movie-type idea – more so as we don't have that many kings (or queens), who'd qualify for a valuable sacrifice, if any, don't we?


Things and times change and a lot of layers and perspectives have been added to our minds and societies, since our ancestors roamed the lands.

But still, some things have not changed at all: We all want to survive the best and easiest way possible, that is without suffering too much and without loosing what is dear to us.

We feel the intrinsic will to survive: as an individual as well as a community and nation.


We have lost track of how to maintain balance on a larger scale, that is on a worldwide level. In fact it's almost impossible to achieve this: Most people don't even manage to keep up a basic balance in their own life, within their own communities or in their relationship with nature and natural resources. Life has become too multilayered and complex for most of us – there are simply too many options and pathways out there. To get some sort of overall overview and/or being able to consider all components in a given moment seems a task far too overwhelming.


Having to face a severe worldwide crisis, which does not differentiate between rich and poor, good and bad, south-west-east-north, … our deepest archetypical fears and behavioral patterns are revived.

Many refuse to look at the flip side of the “archetypal coin”: It might show perspectives, long forgotten, which possibly will pay off today, if (re)considered and adjusted to our present needs and challenges.


Our ancestors knew well about the ritual of sacrifice in order to maintain balance. Balance between communities, both seen and unseen by the human eye.


On our pretty long and colorful journey through the last two or three centuries we have filled the unseen realms with our human ideas. It is too difficult for us to accept, that some phenomena are invisible to human eyes. Especially if the unseen dares to enter our emotional scapes without introducing themselves to us beforehand.

That's why we have to confine “it” into colored cages, somewhere between black and white and lots of pink. In order to feel (fake-)safe or at least to make ourselves believe, we were in control of what we cannot see.

Our universe, that is, everything on and beyond our planet earth, is labelled according to shapes and features that are visible and therefore known to the human eye. Everything is categorized according to human values and perspectives. But I guess most inhabitants of this universe don't really care or even know about human values and perspectives – they just feel the consequences and outcomes of these human values and perspectives in one way or other.


This is – of course – just another view out of another human box. Obviously.


Kingship in our world of today is held and manifested by ideas. Most of these are centered around some sort of human supremacy and midgardian meaningfulness concept. Feeling superior to something or somebody functions as a kind of fluffy fleece which we can lay upon those nasty, time enduring, primordial fears.


These supremacy-concepts boil down to some narcissistic “humans are in charge of the rest of the worlds”-belief:

We tend to think, we hold the solution to anything in our human hands. Or in case we don't, we'd have to invest all our time and energy to find a solution to save the world(s). Humans tend to suffer from (and indulge in) a weird brain- and ego-based hero complex.


We think we know what others would benefit of. We think we know, where and when we'd have to interfere. In fact this is what we do all the time: Interfering and intruding into others' spheres.


What if … what is happening now and then in the shape of natural catastrophes, also in the disguise of viciously invisible virus ventures, are a way to communicate?

A non-human wake-up-call to change our views, to sacrifice our modern worlds king(s)?

To sacrifice the king of human supremacy in its various shades and colors?


This sacrifice would imply to find ways to rather communicate with the Other before taking action for or against them. It'd imply to question human moves and judgements before they are executed and brought into the world(s).

Holding back and communication instead of constant interference.


Yes – in the midst of a severe crisis this might sound terribly misplaced. Now its all about ensuring survival and minimizing damages, first.

But at some point this crisis will be overcome. Then this would be a great time to try and rethink human takes and roles in a modern world … towards a world-tree with many leaves and branches.


© Ann-Uta Beißwenger, 5thof April 2020.




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